My Girl
by recchinon
Summary: He had done everything for her. He kept his promise for her. He had loved her with all his heart. There must be a reason, a good one, of why she left him. Right?
1. Chapter 1

Disc: Standard applied

_Thought/past_

Present

.

**My Girl**

1.

Theme song: Sweetest GoodBye – Marron V.

* * *

She had been so selfish.

How could she leave me like that?

She left me twice.

The first one had been hurt but the second time was just unbearable.

* * *

"_Kurosaki-kun…"_

_He frowned, they had been dating for almost a year now and he was still 'Kurosaki-kun' for her. He didn't get it, she had even called his father Isshin-san. He had told her to call him by his first name. She had tried but it the end it made both of them red as tomatoes and Ichigo-kun back to Kurosaki-kun in less than twenty four hours._

"…_what is your dream?"_

_He thought for a moment, he had never told anyone about this. Everyone around him would expect him to work as a journalist or maybe a doctor but actually lately, just right after he lost his shinigami power, he had a new hobby. He had surprised people around him when he bought an expensive Nikon DSLR camera but again, nobody would expect that it was not just a hobby for him._

_They sat under the tree on the backyard of their school building. It was lunch break, only few weeks before their graduation. They would still spend their time with their friends but sometime they would spend their time together just two of them like this._

_She sat patiently as she waited for him to answer the question. He was so deep in thought that he didn't realize the sad look in her eyes. She bit her lower lip, there was something she wished he would say. She waited for him, holding her breath as she pretending to look indifferent._

"_Hm, actually I had something in my mind."_

_She smiled, "May I know what was it?"_

_He blushed, he kneaded his neck nervously. He was unsure whether he should tell her or not, after all this was kind of embarrassing, he hadn't even told his father. He had told no one about this but this is Orihime, of course he would tell her. He had made his mind. He would tell her._

"_I want to study about photography."_

_If she was disappointed it didn't show in her face. She did a good job to mask her feeling. Once again she smiled, a little surprised but she didn't let her smile dropped. She managed to keep a cheerful tone, "Photography? You want to be a photographer? It is so cool!"_

_He smiled sheepishly, "I haven't told anybody yet. I am not sure about this…"_

_She patted his broad shoulder playfully, "Oh, Kurosaki-kun could do it! Kurosaki-kun will be the best photographer!"_

_He smiled. _

_Once again he missed the bitterness in her eyes._

* * *

I had sit on the train for how many hours?

Two? Three?

I didn't know. I forgot my watch at home. My head was full of many things. I tried to figure out about many things but I couldn't. I tried and tried but still I couldn't solve anything. This was the biggest mystery for me.

Why had she left me?

Why had she lied?

She had never lied before. Never. Then why had she?

I looked down, pretended to focus on my shoes. This morning when I woke up I never had thought that two hours later I would be here, on the train, on my way to her.

After all of this years.

Why must now?

* * *

"_I love you, Kurosaki-kun."_

_She had told him that few times, but this time it caught him off guard. He was just dropping her in front of her apartment door after he walked her home from school. There they stood on the stairs to her door. He was stood few stairs lower than her, giving him a rare chance to tilted his face to see her from below. She was smiling but she didn't look happy._

_He scowled, he wondered what had made her sad. He hadn't done anything wrong, was it something he did? Was it something he said?_

"_I…" he gulped, didn't know how to response in this situation, "I love you too."_

_They looked at each other for few minutes before she managed to say something to him._

"_Kurosaki-kun…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Would you promise me something?"_

* * *

I had never cheated on her. No, I loved her too much to do that. I didn't want anyone but her. I could never imagine myself to hold any other girl but her. No, I adored her too much to hurt her. I had promised many things to her. No matter how hard it was to keep the promises, I had never let her down. I had always been there for her when she needed me. I had always done anything to make her smile, even if that meant I have to eat some chocolate with wasabi flavor, I'd do that to keep that smile on her face.

I loved her that much.

She should have known about that.

She told me that she loved me. She loved me, didn't she?

* * *

"_Kurosaki-kun, promise me one thing…"_

"_What it is?"_

"_Would you do this to me?"_

"_Anything."_

_He answered that without even thought about that first. He knew he shouldn't agree to anything he didn't know. But it was her whom asked him, he could never deny her._

"_Kurosaki-kun…"_

_He waited._

"_Please reach your dream."_

"_Eh?"_

_He didn't understand._

"_I would be so happy if you could get what you want, if you could make your dream comes true." She smiled and she looked like a goddess, oh how he loved this girl, his goddess, "Your dream, to be a photographer… Do it. Get it. Will you?"_

_He looked at her. He looked deep into her eyes, tried to find something he didn't know what._

"_Will you?"_

_He sighed._

"_Anything for you, Hime… Anything…"_

…_and she smiled._

* * *

That one promise.

Even that promise she made me to say, I kept that one promise too. Even now, that she wasn't here anymore. I tried so hard to do as what she wanted me to do, though it was funny that she made me to get my other dream while she had broken my biggest dream, to be with her.

She had wanted me to get my dream, didn't she know above from all of my dreams, it was her who I had always wanted no matter what?

The other dreams meant nothing compared to her. I could give up the world to her.

But then why?

I opened my palm slowly to see a small paper. My shaking hand somehow managed to write the address on the paper while the other hand held the phone, tried so hard not to drop it, this morning.

She had left me twice.

This was unfair, Orihime.

* * *

"_What do you mean she resigned?"_

_The female teacher frowned, she looked at the angry young blonde. Somehow she understood why he was so angry. She sighed, she knew this wasn't right, to keep this from him but this was what she wanted. She had told her not to tell him until today._

"_Orihime Inoue has gone to America, her family from her mother side wants her to leave with them to America."_

_He slammed his fist to the table, "She didn't tell me!"_

"_She must have her own reason."_

_He looked at the older woman angrily, he didn't care that he was in the teacher room, shouting at his homeroom teacher, "You didn't tell me!"_

_Ochi-sensei shook her head, she felt really bad now, "I am so sorry but she told me not to tell you."_

"_Bullshit!"_

_Normally she would tell her to watch his language and gave him some detention but this time she understood very well his feeling. She was speechless. She hated this. She hated to see the boy in front of her, her student, broke into pieces and she knew he wouldn't be the same again and half of it was her fault._

"_Kurosaki…"_

_He didn't answer._

"_This is… her address."_

_He looked at the enveloped the teacher gave to him._

"_There was a letter for you from her, read it."_

_He didn't answer._

"_She wanted you to write to her."_

* * *

She had lied to me. She said she had gone to America… She said…

She lied.

She lied.

She lied.

Why?

Did she hate me so much that she hurt me so bad?

Orihime…

She lied.

She lied.

…she died.


	2. Chapter 2

Disc: Standard applied

_Thought/past_

Present

.

**My Girl**

2

Theme song: Orion – Mika Nakashima

_Dear Kurosaki-kun,_

_Kurosaki-kun, when you read this letter it means Ochi-sensei has told you that I would move to America. I know, maybe you'll hate me after this, after all I have been so selfish to you, I don't want you to hate me, because, Kurosaki-kun,I love you so much._

.

I walked from the station to the address written on the paper. I had never been herein this town before, I knew it would be better if I just stopped a taxi to take me to the address but I didn't do that. I wanted to walk, the woman had explained to me about the direction this morning before I hung up the phone. I wanted to walk on the same road she had walked on.

This was a small town, smaller than Karakura. I knew, it shouldn't be difficult to find the address, everything around me was just like what the woman told me on the phone, I knew where I should go from here, but I didn't want to be there soon.

When I walked through an empty park, I wondered if she had ever come to this park. Maybe she would sit on the bench, watching the kids playing… I could imagine that. She would do that. She would come to this park alone, yes alone because the thought of her with someone else disturbed me, and sat on one of the bench. Sometime she would play with the kids. The kids would love her. Kids always loved her.

Before I could stop myself, I had made a story of her life here during these years. It hurt to know that she might live happily when I was barely alive without her. That was so unfair.

I sighed, no this wasn't about fair or not now.

I walked to one of the benches and sat on it. Thrilled by the thought that maybe she had ever sat there too before. Maybe I'd be late but I know that woman wouldn't blame me. I just want to be alone now. Just me and the memories of her.

.

_Kurosaki-kun, I know this is too sudden. I know I should have told you first, but I can't. If I tell you… if only I… No, that would change my mind if I do that. So please understand me, I love you but I have to go._

_You have your dream, Kurosaki-kun, and I have mine. When I am with you… When you are with me… I don't think it will work. For both of our dream, we go on different path, it may be difficult at first but I know you can do it!_

_Your dream, to be a photographer, I am so happy that even though you hadn't told anyone, you told me about it. I hadn't told you about my dream but actually, maybe, the biggest dream I could dare to dream is for you to achieve your dream._

_Kurosaki-kun, please be happy._

_Please be healthy._

_Please don't forget me, even if just a little—even if this sounds so selfish—please remember me._

_._

She shouldn't have asked me to remember her. Hell there was no way I could forget her after how she break my heart just like that. Even if I wanted to forget her, I wouldn't be able to.

I averted my eyes to the play ground in front of me. There was a big sand box under a big tree, a pair of swings, and a seesaw. Orihime must love this place. I could imagine she would come here often. She would sit on the swing or played on the sand box with the kids. She would laugh.

.

_There were tear marks on her letter, she must have been crying when she wrote the letter for him. He had been reading the letter again and again, tracing his fingers on the dark spot of her tears. She had left him and this letter didn't explain much about her reason._

_She must have been spacing out when she wrote it, her words were hard to understand. Maybe it was him who could not concentrate to get what she was trying to say in her letter. _

_._

Summer in Hokkaido is just like autumn in the main island. The park was empty even though it supposed to be summer vacation right now. There was not kid playing around._  
_

I walked to the play ground I touched the swing gently before I moved to the sand box. The empty playground is too depressing, when she was here there must be a lot of kids here, playing with her. There was no way she would be in a depressing place like this, something depressing like this suit me, not her.

Maybe that wasn't that depressing, it was just me.

I rested my back on the tree, I imagine watching her there, smiling while playing with the kids. She wore a pink t-shirt with soft pastel colored skirt. A kid would approach her, tugging her skirt and asked her to tell them a story. She would smile and do as what they want.

I almost smiled at the thought, that was so real that I almost could see her there.

"Do you need handkerchief?"

I blinked my eyes. I looked around but no one was there.

"Are you crying?"

I scowled, since few years ago I had lost my shinigami power, so I shouldn't hear or see ghost anymore, right? I looked around me once again but I found nothing.

I heard a childish giggle.

"I'm here!"

It was from above me. Quickly I tilted his head to find a little girl sat on the tree branch, almost a meter above me, that was quite high, how could she get there? It would be bad if she fell down.

"What are you doing there? Come down, that's dangerous!"

She giggled, "Are you Kurosaki-kun?"

I frowned, "What?"

"Your hair," she pointed at her own head, "Looks like mine, right?"

I just realized that the girl's hair was similar to me. Actually that was the same hair color like me. And she knew my name, how? I shook my head that wasn't important. Now I needed to find a way to get her down from there.

The girl wasn't older than six years old. She has a long bright orange hair held up high in a pony tail. She grinned widely at me, she didn't look scared at all.

"Get down!"

She bit her lower lip, a familiar habit that reminded me of certain someone, "I don't know how to get down there."

I groaned, "What? Then how did you get there?"

"I climbed up." She grinned sheepishly.

I fight the urge to scold the girl, I took a deep breath and massaged my temples, "Then climb down!"

"I can't." she tried to explain in her childish tone, "I can get up here but I don't know how to get down…"

Impossible.

"Then how do you usually get down?"

"Takaaki-kun helps me."

"Who is Takaaki?"

"He wants to be my father, so he is nice to me…" she explained to me seriously, "If you want to be my father too you have to help me get down."

I scowled, from where could she get that idea?

"How should I help you?"

I gave up. Apparently I had no other choice but to help the little girl. She beamed at my words

"I will jump, catch me."

Actually that was not impossible for me to do. The girl was so little that I could easily catch her, but still I could drop her.

"That's dangerous…"

"Ready?"

She didn't wait for me to answer and jumped from the tree just like that without waiting me to prepare myself and that scared me to dead. Thanks God I managed to catch her small body. I heard her giggled when I catch her in my arms and I frowned.

"WHAT THE HELL? THAT'S DANGEROUS!"

She furrowed her tiny brows, "That's not nice, saying that word…"

I looked at the girl and scolded her, "Don't do that again!"

She tilted her head to the right, "Why?"

"Because that's dangerous!"

"But that's fun…"

"No, don't do that again, understand?"

She just gave me a single nod as I put her down to the grown. She tilted her face and saw my scowling face, she beamed to me. Then I remembered something.

"How do you know my name?"

.

_Orihime Inoue put the pen on the table, next to the letter she had just wrote. She looked at the letter once again. She saw the dark spot where her tear had dropped, he would know that she had been crying writing this. She bit her lower lip, but it didn't matter. She would know, sooner or later._

_She would leave him, oh God, she would go away to leave the love of her life. She would…_

_Oh God, what she would do might be unforgivable to him._

_He might hate her after this._

_She closed her eyes, but she had no choice. She loved him. She knew what kind of a man Ichigo Kurosaki was. If she told him the truth…_

_She touched her stomach softly._

_She had asked him, what his dream was and he told her._

_If he knows about the truth, there was no doubt that he would give up his dream for her. For _them.

_Orihime sighed. She rubbed her stomach lovingly. Not now, not when he was so ready to reach his dream. Not when he has the chance to get what he wanted—not that he didn't want _them, _oh she knew he loved her. Not now. In five or seven years… Or even ten years… Yes maybe then, she would come back to him, if he still wanted her, of course. She knew there were chances that he wouldn't want her anymore then, but then again this was the way she had chosen, she knew the risks._

_She smiled tenderly as she touched her flat stomach and looked at it with such a great love in her eyes._

"_We'll make it, dear… I'll be with you…"_

.

I waited for the girl to answer my question. She knew my name, that's weird because I knew no one in this town except…

"Where do you want to go?" She didn't answer my question.

"I…"

"Did you get lost?"

I saw the look of concern in her…

…_grey orbs?_

She smiled again. She grabbed my hand and pulled me.

"Come, I'll show you the way!"

.

**Author's note:**

I update fast? :) Oh and don't worry about the other story, wait for my Beta to finish the new chapter of Love Story and I will update it. As for other stories, I planned to update Even Now and Yakuza Moon soon, I also have ichihime stories for Indonesian fans, I will try to update them this week end, but no promise : )

-happy winter!-

recchinon


	3. Chapter 3

Disc: Standard applied

_Thought/past_

Present

.

**My Girl**

3

Theme song: Orion – Mika Nakashima

* * *

I looked at her. She was smiling and looked back at me. Her long auburn hair was no longer touched her back, she cut it to her shoulder. Her big grey orbs sparkling, oh yes, she was beautiful. I felt like I wanted to kiss her right away. Though that was just her picture that smiled at me, I just wanted to kiss her.

I swallowed. So that was not a joke, a cruel joke I had hoped it was, that was just some unbelievable reality. Right besides her photo there was an _ihai [*]_ with her name next to her brother's ihai. Orihime Inoue, the love of my life, had gone forever. This was too cruel, even for me. What had I done that I got this punishment from God?

"Why…" I barely could speak. My throat was dry and burnt.

"She got an accident on her way home from her work." The old woman who had called me this morning answered me with her Hokkaido accent. She had introduced herself to me earlier as Orihime's relative. Her aunt or something like that, I hadn't paid attention to what she told me, "A drunk driver hit her, with such a high speed… She…"

I raised my right hand to stop her. I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't imagine that. Her delicate body to be hit by a big car… Damn it, if only I had been there with her…

"The driver?"

"Had been arrested." The old woman sighed, I knew she watched me carefully though I didn't look at her, "He was underage so…"

I gritted my teeth. I didn't fucking care. Underage or not, I would and I had to kill him. No way I would let him alive after what had he done to Orihime. I clenched my teeth, I would do everything to get to that bastard and I would kill him painfully. I would…

"Mama would not like that."

I turned to see the little girl who sat next to the old woman. She looked at me with a scowl on her face, a scowl that somehow looked like mine. She folded her tiny arms on her chest. The old woman sighed and just shook her head but she said nothing.

"You shouldn't do that." She said again, she looked at me like telling me not to do anything stupid. I wondered if this little girl knew what I had been thinking, "You want to kill him right?"

"Aika…" the old woman warned the little girl named Aika, "You shouldn't say something like that!"

"But, I can't let Kurosaki-kun kill him!" she looked at the old woman, tried to explain her logic, "Mama wouldn't be happy if he killed the man! Mama said killing is bad! It would make mama sad!"

I frowned at her words. I didn't understand what the hell she was saying. Who was her Mama and why should I care about her Mama's feeling. I felt something hot in my stomach. Somehow, I knew who this girl was. I knew who her Mama was… I was just too scared to admit it.

The little girl turned back to face me, "Kurosaki-kun, if you kill the man, Mama would hate you!"

* * *

"_Maybe she hates me."_

"_Bullshit, she loves you, Kurosaki."_

"_Then why did she leave me?"_

"_There must be a good reason for that."_

"_She hates me… That's the reason…"_

"_You're drunk Kurosaki. I think you should go home now."_

"_Fuck you, Ishida… You don't understand."_

"_Sado, we need to take him home, he's too drunk."_

"_Right."_

_

* * *

_

"Aika… You shouldn't speak like that to Kurosaki-san…"

The little girl bit her lower lip and looked away. The old woman sighed before then averted her gaze to me and looked at me. She apologized for what the little girl had said to me.

"Well, Kurosaki-san, actually, there is something else I need to tell you…" The old woman looked nervous, "Actually Orihime-chan had wanted to tell you about this since long time ago, but…" she sighed tiredly, for a second she looked so much older than her real age, I pitied the woman, it must be hard for her to tell me about this. I had prepared myself since I saw the kid.

For some odd reason, I knew what she wanted to tell me.

* * *

_"Isn't she beautiful?"_

_The old woman looked at the bundle in the girl's arm. She looked at the smiling girl, she looked so happy. T_

_"She is so beautiful," the woman agreed with the girl, the newborn baby was beautiful, "just like you."_

_The girl sighed, she kept siling but this time it was a sad smile, it broke the woman's heart to see her niece to look like that. She knew by the way she looked that she was thinking about the man, again._

_"She looks just like Kurosaki-kun."_

_The woman nodded, "He is her father."_

_Orihime Inoue was a beautiful girl and when she looked sad like right now, somehow, she looked even more beautiful._

_"Yumi-bachan...[*]" Orihime looked at the older woman, "I am a horrible person."_

_Her aunt frowned, the girl sounded so desperate, "Orihime-chan..."_

_"This is his child... Aika is Kurosaki-kun's child, but I hide her from him..." She bit her lower lip to stop herself fro crying, "He would hate me." She looked at the sleeping baby in her arms, "How if Aika hates me too?"_

_"Orihime-chan..." Yumi touched her shoulder gently, "They love you. They will understand. Kurosaki loves you, you do this for him." When she looked her niece was ready to cry, he couldn't stop herself from asking, "Why don't you tell him, sweetheart? I believe he would accept you, both of you..."_

_The healer shook her head, "No, Bachan.. Not now..."_

_

* * *

_

So I have a kid.

The old woman told me that the reason why Orihime had left me was because she had been pregnant with my kid and she didn't want to tell me. She didn't tell me because she knew if I knew that she was pregnant, I would marry her and find a job to support them. She was afraid that I would gave up my dream for her. She didn't want to be a burden for me.

Hell, of course I would marry her if only I knew it.

I would do anything, I would give up my dream for her.

Why couldn't she understand? I might want to be a professional photographer but I couldn't live without her. If I had to choose, it would be her. It would always be her.

Now, I just found out that I have a daughter. A five years old daughter.

What should I do?

Orihime had gone and I had a daughter, what should I do without her? I don't even know how should I call her.

* * *

_"Kurosaki-san, let me introduce you, this is Aika Inoue. Orihime-chan's daughter..." Yumi paused as she looked at the little girl before she looked back at the man, "Your daughter."_

_He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. The young girl bowed at him. He closed his mouth and bowed back awkwardly to the little girl who apparently was his own daughter._

_This little girl was his daughter. He didn't have to question it. He knew Orihime would not cheat on him and by the way the little girl looked, she was definitely their daughter. It was his hair, his face, with her eyes. She was their daughter._

_"Actually, Orihime-chan last words were..."  
_

_

* * *

_

_...she wanted Aika to live with her father._

Orihime last wish, she wanted her daughter to be with her father. Oh that was me. She wanted the girl to live with me.

I didn't know what to say or how to react. Not that I didn't love the little girl, she was our daughter of course I would love her. I just didn't know how to be a father. I hadn't ever known that I had a daughter until now, and she was five, there were five years gap and that wouldn't easy for us to accept each other as a family. I didn't know what a father do, heck my own father was not a good sample of a father and I didn't want to be a father like him.

Yumi-san, the old woman, said she could take care Aika if I wanted, she loved the little girl by the way. Actually, it would be easier if I let the woman to take care of her. She knew Aika since she was baby and Aika loved her too, maybe I could come back when she was a little older, like ten or fiveteen years...

...but I couldn't do that.

* * *

_"I'll take care of her."_

_Yumi's eyes widened at the an's decision. Honestly, she would be more than happy and ready to take care of the little orange haired girl if he didn't want to take her with him. She knew that this was not an easy decision for the young man, he barely knew the girl, he was still so young and the girl could be a burden for him. She wanted to say something to make the young man re-think of his decision but the look in his eyes stopped her from doing so. She knew the man knew the consequence of his decision. A child was not like a pet, that was a big responsibility for him, but in the end he decided to take the girl with him._

_"Kurosaki-san... You knew, you could just let me to take care of Aika-chan." Yumi sighed, she patted the girl's shoulder gently, "I believe Orihime-chan would understand if..."_

_"No, I would take care of her."_

_Yumi sighed. She knew he was serious._

_"Okay then..."_

_"I will live with Kurosaki-kun?"_

_Both adults looked at the little girl. Ichigo scowled. He was afraid that the girl would reject him, that would be a new problem if the girl didn't want to go with him. He would understand though if she didn't want to live with him. For the girl, he was only a stranger._

_"Yes, I am afraid so. You have to move to the main island with me, is that okay with you?"_

_To his surprise the little girl beamed at him. A similar one like what her mother used to show him._

_"That's okay! I want to know more about Kurosaki-kun!"_

_

* * *

_

"So, when will we go to your house?"

I looked at the little girl. Funny, how she looked a lot like be but how much she reminded me of Orihime. She didn't look so sad even though her other had just been passed away for few days. I knew it must be hard for her. I knew it. I lost my mother and it broke me. This little girl was a lot stronger than me.

"Tomorrow," I said, "You can prepare the things you want to bring with you. You don't have to bring too many things though, we can buy it there."

"So tonight you would stay here?"

I looked at Yumi, "I can stay at a Hotel nearby..."

"Aw, you can sleep in Mama's room."

I startled and looked at the five years old girl, "Don't you miss Mama? The room smells like Mama." She looked at Yumi, "Kurosaki-kun may sleep there, right, Baa-chan[*]?"

Yumi nodded. She looked at me with a meaningful look, "Of course, you don't have to stay at a hotel, Kurosaki-san..."

"Okay then." Aika stood up, "Follow me, Kurosaki-kun, I'll show you the room!"

* * *

*ihai: a placard made of wooden, with a name of late family member

*ba-chan: (oba-chan/san) Aunt.

*baa-chan: (obaa-chan/san) Grandmother.

**Author's note:**

Aika name is written by "Ai" = love and "Uta"= song, but it read as "Aika" ^^

recchinon


	4. Chapter 4

Disc: Standard applied

_Thought/past_

Present

.

**My Girl**

4

Theme song: I Can Wait Forever – Simple Plan

-note: in every chapter I put a "theme song", I listen to the song while I write this chapter so if you want to understand or to feel it try to listen to the songs as you read it :D and some chapters might have the same theme songs though…

.

If only I hadn't lost my power.

I looked outside the window next to the bed. Orihime's bed. I could smell her scent all around the room yes I couldn't feel her _reiatsu _anymore but I could feel it, I could smell it, she had been here—in this room, on this bed.

Maybe she had sat here, exactly the way I did, looking outside the window, waiting for me to come for her—for our child—but I had never come. I looked at the street outside the window. How many times had she looked at that street wishing I was down there coming for her?

Orihime's room was on the second floor just like my room. The room was small and simple. There weren't many things in the room. I looked around the room and my gaze fell on the photo on the table across the room. I stood up and walked to the table.

She was smiling at me.

Orihime was smiling at me.

In the photo Orihime was holding a baby. The baby was only few months old in the photo but I recognized the familiar orange hair on her head. I took the photo and look at her face lovingly.

For the first time since I lost my power I wished I could get my power back.

If only I got my power back maybe I could see her. If only I had my power back I would go to the other world—heaven or hell I wouldn't care—only to find her. There were too many things I wished I could tell her.

"Do you miss her?"

I turned to see the little girl stood not far from the now opened door. She wore her pajamas now, her tiny arms hugged a giant rabbit, it seemed like she was ready to sleep.

I put the photo back on the table to face the little girl who walked toward me. My mini-me, even the way she was scowling looked exactly like mine.

"Do you miss Mama?" She asked again. Her eyes looked into mine. I didn't know that a small girl like her could make me nervous just by the way she looked into my eyes. I know this was not only a kid's innocence, she had inherited Orihime's innocence too.

"I…" I felt like my throat dried and I coughed before I answer her question honestly, "Yes, I miss her."

She nodded just like she had known my answered before she asked me. She smiled toothily, "She missed you too."

I said nothing—I couldn't.

"She had always missed you." She said again as she turned to walk to the bed. I watched her climbed the bed and sat on it, "She told me many things about you."

I frowned, "Really?"

She giggled, "You like chocolate." She hugged her rabbit—which somehow reminded me of chappy—tighter, "Me too. I love chocolate." She added with another giggled, "Mama made me some curry with chicken and chocolate for my birthday!"

I gulped, that sounded just like what Orihime would cook for me, "And you liked it?"

She nodded, "Mama was a great cook."

I could only looked into her big eyes. I saw Orihime in this kid. The way she talked and laughed. She was really our daughter.

"Is it okay if I hugged you?"

She startled me with her laughter.

I became more nervous, "It's okay if it's not okay."

"It is funny…"

Maybe it would take some time before she could accept me as her father or even as her friend, and I…

"I was thinking about the same thing."

I looked at the little girl.

"I want to hug Kurosaki-kun too."

She grinned widely to me.

I smiled and pulled her little body to me and hugged her tightly. She was so small. When I hugged her like this it reminded me that she was just a little girl. The way she talked to me made me forget about her age but when I hugged her just like this, I knew that this little girl—no matter how strong she looked—must feel the same feeling I felt.

She encircled her tiny arms around my neck and buried her face on my shoulder.

"We will leave this house tomorrow…" I said in a whisper, "…is it okay with you?"

She nodded, "Mama wants me to live with Kurosaki-kun..."

I waited for her to continue what she wanted to say but she didn't say anything. This girl, this little girl, was really my daughter. I just met her few hours ago but there was no doubt at all. She was my daughter. I had been in love with this little girl…

…and now I was scared.

Was it really okay to take her with me?

She hadn't known me before this, would she accept me?

Maybe, she accepted me as her father just because Orihime asked her too…

How if she hated me?

If only Orihime were here…

"Kurosaki-kun…"

Something in her voice, maybe the way she called my name, really reminded me of Orihime.

"Yeah?"

It was a little bit awkward the way she called me. She didn't let go off my neck, maybe she didn't want to see my face. I wondered why she called my name but she didn't say anything. Suddenly I felt something wet and hot. She was crying?

What should I do?

_Orihime… What should I do with this kid?_

.

They left the town in the morning. Yumi drive them to the station, the old woman was a truck driver once and it surprised Ichigo how the old woman drove better than him. She looked sad when the said farewell to each other but Ichigo promised her that he would let Aika called her anytime and she could visit her too when she had time. He understood that the old woman loved her so much and he didn't plan to stop her from communicating with his daughter.

Their train left the station at seven thirty and they would arrive at Karakura station seven hours. That was not a short journey and this was his first journey with a kid with him—his own kid. He was a bit nervous at the beginning but Aika was such a sweet girl. She sat next to the window and looked out of the window excitedly. She didn't look sad or depressed. Sometime she would hum some cheerful tone, tried not to be too loud so it would disturb people around him.

She had been crying while hugging him last night so he didn't expect her to be this cheerful today. He was relieved though. With Aika being so calm he could peacefully think about how to inform everybody. He knew his father would be happy to see Aika but that was not the problem…

He didn't know how to tell him that Orihime had been passed away.

He hadn't told anyone about this, not even Tatsuki. He hadn't believed it when Yumi called him that day so he didn't teld anyone—hoping that everything was just a mistake. Now he had to accept it and he had to tell everyone, they had right to know.

But how?

"I will meet Tatsuki-bachan?"

He turned to see the little girl looked at him with a wide smile plastered on her childish face. He blinked, didn't know what to say.

"Eh… Maybe…"

"Ishida-jichan too? Sado-jichan?"

_How did she know…_

She beamed at the orange haired man, "Mama told me. She told me many stories…"

He nodded, "I see."

Of course… Orihime would 'introduce' their daughter to their friends as soon as she could understand it. That was just how Orihime had been. He could imagine how she told their baby about their friends, showing her their photos…

_Did she talk about me too?_

"Mama had so many interesting stories…" She said again, swinging her little feet in turn. For a little girl, she knew so many difficult words and it impressed Ichigo. Orihime had influence their daughter so much, "She told me about a princess…"

"Princess?" he repeated unconsciously.

She covered her mouth with her small hands and giggled, "The princess has been her."

He nodded.

"And an evil wizard named Aizen." Ichigo frowned at how she mentioned Aizen's name but the beautiful little orange head continued it happily, "Also a tower—that has been where they kept the princess—and a prince."

She looked at his brown eyes and smiled, "That's you."

He opened his mouth to say something but he didn't know what to say. This little girl… Orihime had told so many things to her but he didn't know how she told her. He didn't know how to explain.

"Mama said Karakura is a nice town."

He nodded, "It is."

"I would like it."

He smiled, "I bet you would."

"That's why don't worry."

He scowled deeper, "I'm sorry?"

The little girl grinned, she shook her head and touched the skin between his brows, "Stop worrying… It will be okay…" She added, "Because Mama told me so."

"What do you mean?"

But the little girl didn't say anything anymore.

Still few more hours before they reached Karakura and he still hadn't found the way to talk to everyone.

.

.

_Author's Note:_

_I am so sorry for being so late, and I am so sorry that I didn't reply your PMs and reviews… I had been so busy and so sick. Have problem with my kidneys… For you who added me on FB must know that I was also too busy cosplaying ^^;_

_At first I've decided that I would stop cosplaying when I got married. But I changed my plan and I've decided no matter what I will continue cosplaying… ^^; Plus, I am working on my thesis now. So… Thesis+Kidneys Prob+Cosplay+Work=No time. I hadn't even touched my DeviantArt lately…_

_For my other fanfiction like Love Story and Even Now…. I will try to do it soon, but I am not sure when… I accidentally re-format my HD so I lost all data and I need to re-write some stories I've done. :-I_

_Well, thanks for reading…_

_BTW I haven't had time for reviewing my favorite stories (I haven't even read some newest chapter of it), but right now, it's safe to say that I lost my interest in Bleach… (Sorry Kubo.) I am so into DURARARA! now though I wont write fanfic for DURARARA!. If you haven't watched it, try to watch it… It's good…_

_Recchinon._


	5. Chapter 5

Disc: Standard applied

_Thought/past_

Present

.

**My Girl**

5.

Theme song: Sakura Biyori - Mai Hoshimura

.

.

_It was spring during their second year in high school when they had their first fight. She was crying and he was shouting. They were arguing for the first time. He had always been protecting her and he would never even raise his voice at her. She knew he didn't mean to shout at him, she knew he was just trying to protect her but this time, she wanted him to understand, she was more than capable to protect herself. It was one thing if he protected her when he still had his shinigami power but then, after he lost his power, she wanted to be the one who protected him. She didn't want him to get hurt. This time, it was her turn to be his savior._

_But he wouldn't accept that._

_He didn't want her to do anything dangerous, especially not to protect him. He had lost his power but it didn't mean he had lost his will to protect her. He just wanted to protect her forever, no matter what, with or without his power. _

_But she wouldn't understand._

_And they had a fight over that._

_"You don't understand, Kurosaki-kun!" _

_It frustrated him whenever she called him that name. He told her to call him his first name whenever they were alone. He knew old habit dies hard but sometime it frustrated him that she called their other friends by their first name but him. Lately she even called Mizuiro and Keigo by their first name. _

_"You don't understand Inoue!"_

_He regretted it right away. He hadn't planned to shout at her. Calling her by her surname was one thing he tended to do whenever he wanted to tell her that he disapproved her action, but scolding her was something unthinkable. Right now, he knew he couldn't take his words back, besides he needed to make her understand._

_She looked at him, her lower lip was almost bleeding because she bit it too hard. She hold herself from saying whatever she wanted to say. _

_"You know, it was dangerous to fight a hollow alone! You should just let Ishida or Chad to handle those hollows! You are NOT a fighter!" He clenched his hands, trying not to punch anything nearby, perhaps the walls, "If something happened to you, I... I..." _

_"Kurosaki-kun, I want to protect you..." She cupped his cheeks lovingly, tried to make him understand her point but he refused to look at her eyes, "You've been protecting us, now it's our chance to protect you, we're your friends, aren't we? We care about you..."_

_He fought the desire to look at her, hug her and kiss her. Right now, he needed to make sure she got his point. _

_"Ichigo..."_

_She called his name softly._

_She did it. She knew he couldn't stay angry too long to her, not if she called him that name._

_He looked at her, finally, scowling and trying as he might not to shake her body to make her understand. He loved her, he knew she knew it. He just wanted her to be safe, unfortunately, it seemed like she didn't get that._

_"I don't wanna lose you..."_

_Finally he circled his hands around her tiny waist and pulled her toward him. Tried to show her how much he loved her from that one hug. How much it had hurt him to know that he couldn't do much to keep her unhurt, to protect her. He wanted her to understand..._

_"Chad and Ishida are strong, they know how to fight..." he added before she had a chance to protest, "I know you can fight, I know... But, I..."_

_He met her eyes and her scowl faded._

_"I can't imagine life without you..."_

_When she hugged him back, he thought she had understand him. That he didn't want to ever lose her, he thought she understand. That he didn't want to live without her..._

_...but she left him._

_._

He took her little hand and hold it in his big one. He had never imagined he'd become a dad one day and yet somehow he had found himself acted like one today. He did it instinctively. He was young, too young to be a father but before he realized it he had held her hand walked out of the station, listening to her stories and smiling occasionally, just like a _real _father.

He listened to his daughter, finding she had a really active imagination just like her mother. She told him about many things and he realized that he wanted to know more about this kid.

He stopped a cab outside the station and told the driver to take them to his father's house. The first thing he wanted to do was to tell his family. He couldn't imagine how his family would react but he just thought that it was the right thing to do at the moment.

"So, this is Karakura?"

The little girl was looking out of the window of the the moving car excitedly. He looked at where she looked and nodded thought she couldn't see it.

"We'll go to my father's house," Ichigo said, "Did..." he paused for a moment, thinking of the right way to address the woman she loved, "..._your mom _had ever said anything about my family?"

The little girl turned and smiled widely, "I told you, she told me maaaaaaany things!"

He patted her head and smirk. This little girl was not only beautiful but also lovable, he believed, thought it would surprised him at first, his family could accept this girl as a part of their family right away.

"I want to see Kurosaki-kun's family," she said again as she looked outside the window once again, "I want to see your and Mommy's friend..."

Ichigo scowled at the way she addressed him_, _sure he didn't expect her to call him 'daddy' because however until yesterday, they had been strangers to each other, but still...

Twenty minutes later, both orange heads were standing in front of Kurosaki Clinic. Her little hand in his, he took a deep breathe. He had been thinking how to talk to his family but he hadn't found the best way to tell them. The fact that Orihime had given birth of his daughter and about her... _death..._

He still couldn't accept the fact.

"Kurosaki-kun?"

He turned to meet the bright big orbs looking into his brown eyes. The girl was smiling. He felt an unseen hand clenched on his heart when he saw the pure smile of his daughter as if telling him that everything was going to be alright. Funny, wasn't it a parent's job to comfort their kid?

He sighed, "You're ready?"

She nodded excitedly, "Un!"

He smiled.

She was right. Everything was going to be alright.

.

_'Kurosaki-kun...'_

_It was after one of their lovemaking, he was laying there on her bed, eyes closed with arms around the girl, pulling her closer to his naked body. He was half asleep but he could hear what she said. He mumbled sleepily to let her know that he was listening whatever she was going to say._

_They had been together for almost six months now but he just realized that he had been in love for her long before that. He actually had been in love with her even before the Hueco Mundo incident. However, after the incident he realized that he didn't want to lose her anymore. four or five months after he lost his power he decided to make everything official between them, and he was glad he did that. The girl in his arms, he would never let her go._

_"Kurosaki-kun..." she tried again, receiving another sleepy grunt as the answer, she chuckled, "I never tell you this, but... you know... if I have five lifetimes..."_

_"I know, Orihime... I know..." he said, "I heard you."_

_"Eh?"_

_"You were there, you came... I felt you, I heard you..." he still had his eyes closed, "I thought it was a dream... but then I realized, it wasn't." _

_Slowly he opened his eyes. His scowl was there when he looked into her eyes. _

_"Five lifetimes..." he kissed her forehead, "is not enough..."_

.

.

**Author's Note:**

Really short and yeaaaah kinda plain... ^^;


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disc: standard applied_**

_Thought/past_

Present

**_._**

**My Girl**

6.

_"What would you do?"_

_The girl with auburn hair half sat on her bed. The baby in her arms was sleeping soundly. She touched the baby's cheek gently and smiled. She knew the girl standing next to her bed was worried about her. She felt bad to make her felt that way but she had decided things, and she wouldn't change her decision. _

_"Nothing," she smiled, her eyes still on her baby's face. No matter how many times she looked at her she would never get enough of her. This baby was her daughter. Hers and his, "I would raise Aika as a single parent. I would find a job. I can't give her luxurious life but I will give her all of my love. It isn't too bad right?"_

_The raven haired girl frowned, "And him?"_

_She knew who she meant by him but she played dumb, "him?"_

_The other girl shook her head, "you know who I mean Orihime. What about Ichigo? Aika's his daughter! He has a right to know, she has a right to know!"_

_Orihime sighed, finally she looked at the smaller girl, "Rukia-chan..."_

_Rukia couldn't stand it anymore, "Orihime! Ichigo loves you, he will love this baby too... Just give him a chance!"_

_Orihime smiled sadly. The baby stirred and slowly opened her eyes. Orihime kissed the baby's forehead gently. _

_"I don't know, Rukia, I don't know..." She looked at the shinigami once again, "but I want you to promise me one thing..."_

* * *

My father was speechless. That wasn't a thing you could see everyday. That man usually talked too much. This was a new side of him I had never known before. He looked at the girl for few seconds before looked at me. I knew what he had in his mind. He saw himself in me.

Yuzu and Karin were not different. Yuzu had her hands on her mouth, her eyes were teary while Karin folded her hands on her chest, she was frowning as if thinking about something.

I felt weirdly calm. It hurt to talk about her to my family but somehow I felt calm, as if she weren't really gone. As if she were actually there by my side. It was weird, I knew...

"So, I need to include Aika to our family card. She is Aika Inoue right now, but for the future, I think it will be more handy to make her Aika Kurosaki," I looked at the little girl, "You don't mind that, right Aika?"

Aika nodded.

I scowled as I saw her eyes half opened. She tried so hard to keep her eyes open but I knew she was actually sleepy. She must have been tired after the trip.

"You're sleepy?"

She nodded. She rubbed her eye with one hand.

I sighed, "Yuzu, please take Aika to the room, she must be tired."

Yuzu nodded, "Come on Aika..."

Karin decided to go with Yuzu and Aika. I had a feeling that she wanted to give a chance for me and my dad to talk alone.

"Dad?"

My father looked at me and smiled but said nothing. He gave me the chance to say anything I wanted to say.

"I am sorry."

"Why?"

I sighed, "I don't know, I just feel sorry..."

My father shook his head he walked toward me and patted my shoulder, "Don't be. You have a daughter from the woman you love, that's wonderful, isn't it?"

I couldn't say anything.

My father smiled, it was kind of weird to see him smiling that way, "Losing woman you love is the saddest thing in this world, but you have to continue your life, because you're not alone. She left you a part of her to keep. Your daughter is a reason why you have to go on."

My daughter...

That word was still alien to me. I had a daughter.

"Do you feel that way when mom died?"

This time, for the first time since I came, my father laughed.

"I felt whatever you feel right now. But I have Yuzu, Karin, and you! I know Masaki would want me to take care of you kids for her." He slapped my back, "be strong, you're a father now!"

* * *

Ichigo sat there, next to his old bed, looking at his daughter's sleeping face. He had been sitting there for almost two hours, he had so many things in his head as he sat there and watched his daughter sleeping. Ichigo wondered from now on how he should live. Knowing that the woman he loved the most had died and left a daughter for him to take care.

This was never something he had in his mind about his future.

First he needed to find a school for Aika.

He sighed.

This was insane, becoming a father was not something you could learn in a day or two. Ichigo needed a lot of practices and to be honest, he was not confident at all.

Aika stirred a little in her sleep. The little girl turned to her right side so she was facing Ichigo now. She still slept soundly. The beautiful girl must have been really tired.

All of these years Orihime had raised Aika alone, now it was his turn.

It was weird, but somehow slowly Ichigo had accepted the fact that he was a father and that the mother of her daughter was not going to be there with him. He still felt like someone clenching on his heart when he thought about that but right now, something had told him to move on. Orihime must have wanted him to move on.

Ichigo was deep in his thought when he heard someone knocked on the door.

"Onii-chan, the dinner is ready. Can you wake Aika up and bring her down for dinner?"

Ichigo turned to see Karin stood by the now open door. The younger girl was frowning at something but Ichigo didn't seem to realize it. Gently, he shook Aika's body, trying to wake the little girl up. She had had enough nap.

Aika woke up, rubbing her eyes weakly, "Kurosaki-kun?"

"It's time for dinner," Ichigo said gently, for some reason he didn't want to scare the girl, "let's go down, ok?"

Aika nodded and after few more seconds of yawning, she hopped off the bed and walked together with her father to leave the room. Ichigo was almost reaching the stairs when he realized that Karin was still standing by his bedroom door.

"Karin? What are you doing there? C'mon!"

"Ah," Karin turned to see her brother, she got a matching scowl on her face, "Yeah..."

Before she left the room, she threw another glance to the raven haired girl standing in the corner of his room. The girl saw this and smiled sadly.

As expected, Ichigo couldn't see her.


	7. Chapter 7

"I am so sorry but we cannot accept anymore student in the mean time."

The young woman gave him an apologetic look. The young man sighed. He looked at the brunette for few more seconds before he decided that it was too soon to give up.

"But can't you make an exception for this time? There is no other kindergarden around here..." It was not like him at all, begging like this for something like this. He didn't even know that he could do this, "you see, my daughter would behave and she is also really smart..."

The woman looked at him as if saying 'of course every father would say something like that about their daughter.'. Ichigo realized, this time he had to give up. Again. This had been the third school he had visited today. This school was located near by his university, he could have dropped her there on his way to campus and pick her up on his way home. The other two schools was located near his apartment but just like the last one, they also didn't have any empty seat for the little girl.

Cursing in his mind and swore that he would send a letter to the ward buerau. The ward needed to have more schools! He couldn't find any other school except for these three schools on his route from his apartment to his campus.

Ichigo left the school building with a solemn face. He had one browser left in his hand. He had called earlier and they did have a seat for Aika but this school was two stations after his campus which means eight stations from his apartment.

It would be tiring for him and Aika but he had no choice.

Ichigo looked at his phone, he would give them another call. It would be tiring but he had no choice.

He sighed.

He had no idea that being a parent would be this tiresome.

.

"You should have asked for my help," Isshin frowned, "I could do something. Aika-chan could apply to the school in our neighborhood. I know the headmaster there, Aika-chan would be definitely accepted if we apply there."

Ichigo sighed, he shook his head. From the corner of his eyes he could see Karin and Yuzu played with Aika on the carpeted floor. He could see that Yuzu loved kids but he never knew that Karin could get along very well with Aika.

"It's too far," Ichigo finally took his eyes away from his daughter, "it took an hour and half by train from my apartment, Aika would be too tired. And it took two hours from my campus. It won't work. I would late for my classes."

It was true. Today Ichigo left Aika at his father's house while he went to those school. The trip from his apartment to his father's place and back to his campus area... It took too much time and Ichigo didn't want to do it everyday. It would not only waste his time and money but also his energy.

Isshin rose his brow. It was one of those rare moments where the ex-shinigami was being serious.

"I know it is impossible if Aika-chan lives with you, but it would be okay if she lives here. Yuzu and Karin would take good care of her. I would take care of her."

Ichigo groaned. He didn't like it. They had talked about it before and he didn't want to explain himself again.

"Aika is my daughter," he said sternly, "and she would live with me."

"It is not easy, to be a single father. You don't have a job yet."

"I would manage it somehow," Ichigo stood up, "you managed to be a single father of three troublesome kids, why can't I?"

Isshin grinned, "well you got a point there," he added playfully, "just please come to visit us as often as you could, I want to spend more time with my beautiful granddaughter."

"I don't think she wants to see you that often but as you can see, she seems to like Yuzu so much..." Ichigo smirk, before he turned to the girls who were busy about something, "Aika, let's go home!"

Aika turns and smiled, she looked a lot like her mother when she smiled like that and somehow it made him sad, if only she were here...

"Yes!"

The little girl stood up, bowing at her aunties and ran to where her father stood.

They would go back to their house.

.

"You hear that."

Isshin was still sitting in the kitchen. His coffee had been cold since long time ago. Yuzu and Karin had been back to their room but he was not alone in the room.

"Ichigo said that he would take care of her, he has become more like a real dad, hasn't he?"

The raven haired girl wearing black smiled, "you think so? You think he _could _be a good father for her?"

Isshin grinned, "he _is _a father. It would be hard but he can handle this."

The girl nodded, "I am glad. She was really worried."

"About Ichigo? About Aika-chan?"

She shook her head, "Aika has always known that she had a father. Orihime always talked about Ichigo. She would accept him just fine..."

"Ichigo loves Aika-chan. He was not good with word but I know he loves her. She was his daughter from a woman he loves the most, of course he would accept her," Isshin smiled sadly, "it would be awkward for him, but he is Ichigo anyway."

Rukia nodded, "I mean, she looks like her. A lot, it would be painful sometime for him when he looks at her."

When she said this, she actually referred to her brother. It must have been hard to live with someone whose face similar to the one you loved the most. The one who would not come back anymore.

"So," Isshin cut Rukia's train of thought, "she didn't planned to visit him? She didn't lose her memory of the living world, did she?"

Normally, you would lose your memory of the living world once you died and your soul entered the soul society, but Orihime Inoue was not normal. She had a great spiritual powers that affected her soul and she didn't lose her memory of the living world.

Rukia shook her head, "she doesn't think it was a great idea. He couldn't see ghost anymore, and even if he could, she couldn't come to see him."

The older man nodded. She didn't have to explain it to him. He understood. Personally, he also thought that it'd be better if Ichigo didn't meet her again.

.

Aika looked at the food on the table curiously. She hold the chopstick in one hand and the rice bowl in other hand. Her eyes never left the plate full of fried kinpira on the table.

Ichigo scowled. He started to regret his decision to make the dinner. Maybe they should have just gone to the family restaurant like the other day.

"You don't like the food?"

Aika tilted up her head and then shook it.

Ichigo groaned, "you hate kinpira?"

Aika shook her head once again.

"So?"

"It is spicy."

Ichigo blinked.

"Kinpira," she pointed at the food, "it is spicy. I can't eat spicy food..."

Ichigo slapped his face mentally. He forgot that he cooked for a kid. He had seasoned the food just like how he liked it. He forgot that kids had different preferance about taste.

"Then, I take it you cannot eat this?" He asked her to make sure.

She nodded.

"Oh ok," he stood up from his seat, "let's see what I can make for you..." He walked to the refrigerator to see what food he could find there, "how if I make scramble egg for you?"

Aika nodded, "as long as it's not spicy..."

He smirked, "it won't be spicy."

Ichigo started making the dinner for Aika when he heard the little girl hummed some random tune to herself. He looked at the orange haired girl that was waiting patiently on her seat.

Ichigo looked at the egg.

Aika was still young. She was still growing up and needing enough nutrition. He could not feed her egg every day. He couldn't take her to the restaurant everyday either.

Ichigo heard the little girl's stomach started to growl.

He had to learn how to cook bettter.

.

.

Author's Note:

This story is depressing for Ichihime's fans maybe? But I personally didn't think it is that depressing... I kind of want to write something about family and warming but not all happy and cheery... Uh, I hope I am not confussing you...


	8. Chapter 8

"May I ask you something?"

Ichigo was in the middle of making breakfast when the innocent little girl asked him the question. He paused for a moment to look at the girl who sat at the dining table and waited for the breakfast patiently. She looked at him with her big orbs and smiled sweetly. He smiled to the girl before he continued cutting the carrot for the soup.

"Yeah sure, what's it?"

Ichigo put the carrot into the boiling water, waiting for his little girl to ask the question but for few seconds she still hadn't asked him the question. He was about to ask again when the girl finally asked the question.

"Do you feel lonely?"

Ichigo stopped.

He looked back at the girl and sighed, "why would I? Aren't you here?"

For a moment, Aika smiled at the answer but soon she frowned, "but Mama isn't here anymore..."

It wasn't a kind of conversation he wished they would have in the morning like this. He didn't like the look on her face right now, it looked like the little girl was about to cry. He also didn't know how to answer the question. He asked himself the same question and he knew the answer was always the same, he was lonely. Without Orihime by his side, since six years ago, he had always been lonely. He had so many people surrounding him, his friends and family were nice and he was glad he had them but it wouldn't change the fact that without Orihime, he would never be the same. It had been years and he hadn't changed a bit.

He was lonely.

"Do you feel lonely?"

He knew he shouldn't ask the question back without answering the question first but the little girl didn't seem to mind it. She looked at him seriously and nodded her answer, "yes, I am lonely, I miss Mama."

Ichigo walked to the girl and patted her head, "don't worry I am here with you. I am not the best cook in this world but I am sure I can cook better than your Mama."

Aika giggled, "maybe you're right..."

* * *

"What's this?"

"What do you think it is?"

Her grey orbs look into the man's eyes which were half hidden beneath the infamous stripped hat. She frowned and looked at the _thing _once again. He had come to visit her quite often lately. It seemed like the man had found a way to sneak into seireitai. She didn't know if it was a good idea for him and the black cat to come so often but in the end, being herself, she would always welcome them kindly. Besides, she had a feeling that though the other captains knew about his visits but they hadn't said anything about this. This time the black cat wasn't around, instead he brought her some unusual thing that looked like...

"A gigai?"

The man chuckled. He flipped open his infamous paper fan and hid his smirk, "yes it is a gigai."

Orihime sighed, she had a feeling about what he was going to say, "you want me to use it?"

"Only if you want to," he grinned widely behind his paper fan, his eyes couldn't be seen, hidden by the shadow of his hat, "I would give this gigai as a birthday present."

"It's not my birthday," the young woman was confused, she was not stupid but sometime talking with this man was just too confusing.

"It is not? Well, just take it as a present then."

She smiled, she didn't know how to refuse him, "thank you, Urahara-san."

Urahara smiled, you are welcome, "Orihime..."

She looked at the gigai and sighed. Sure, she knew how was a gigai working. She knew how to use it but she wasn't sure if she should use it. She appreciate the thought, but she didn't think it would be good for her to leave Seireitei right now. She knew what had been in Urahara mind when he gave her the gigai but she had decided that she shouldn't go back... She couldn't...

"You could."

As if he could read what was in her mind, Urahara surprised Orihime with his words. Orihime looked confused.

"What..."

"You should go, if you use a gigai, you'd be able to meet him."

Orihime smiled sadly. She knew who was "him". She thought that everybody must have been concerned about them, this was not the first time someone came to her offering some kind of help for her being able to see him. It was not like she was not grateful or what. Truthfully, she was touched that there were so many people cared about her, about them, and she was glad that everybody seemed more than willing to help. But she had decided. She had decided since the day she had died. She wouldn't see him anymore.

Orihime understood that she had been running away from him. Again. After these past years she had been hiding from him, she still couldn't face him. Not that she hated him or what, she loved him. Oh she loved him so much that it was half of the reason why she couldn't see him.

She thought, Urahara was a really smart one. He would understand. He should understand, her reason to not seeing him. She didn't think that she needed to explain this to anyone but she really hoped that people would stop asking her to go to Karakura and see him.

Instead of explaining her reason to Urahara, Orihime smiled, "Thank you."

Urahara closed his fan.

"Say, Orihime-chan, don't you feel lonely?"

Orihime giggled, "why should I? I am not alone here..." she explained cheerfully, "everyone here is really nice, they let me to live in this house. Rukia-chan and Rangiku-san would come to visit me everyday. Sometime the would take me to many places. I've been here for only few months but people are being extra friendly to me. I heard people would lose their memories of living world once they died but I didn't lose mine and Unohana-taichou said it is because of my spiritual power... I would start helping in the fourth division under Unohana-taichou starting next week so why should I feel lonely?"

Urahara smiled.

"I am glad you're having fun here."

Orihime nodded, "I am. I do missed my daughter. A lot. But she is with her father now, I know she would be okay with him. They just met each other but I believe that blood is ticker than water, they would be alright without me. They have each other now," Orihime smiled, "after all, they're father and daughter."

"But don't you want to see them? Don't you want to see him?"

Slowly the smile on her face faded. She didn't look at the older man.

"I am sure they missed you a lot. I am sure he missed you," Urahara did not understand why he cared but somehow he just cared, "he must be lonely."

Orihime sighed before she smiled faintly, "they would be fine. I believe..."

* * *

Ichigo had been trying so hard to concentrate on whatever his lecturer explained in front of the class today but he just couldn't. He gave up taking notes on whatever the professor had said, he would just asked one of his classmates to let him copy their notes later. Today he wasn't in the mood of studying.

He pretended to listen to the lecturer though actually he let his thought wandered somewhere. He was still bothered by what had been asked by Aika this morning.

_Does he feel lonely?_

Of course he was lonely. Without Orihime his life had been always lonely. Before, he thought that one day he would see her once again and win her heart again and they would live happily ever after. He had planned that after he finished his study he would go, to America, wherever, to find her and this time he wouldn't let her go. He had promised to himself that he would find her and that way he would never feel this empty, this lonely, ever again. But then he found out that she had been gone. Now he had to live the fact that she was not here anymore and he would be lonely forever.

He just realized this morning that he was not the only person that had been lonely. He hadn't given it a thought before but now he realized it that he was not the only person that had been sad ever since Orihime been gone. He was not the only one who'd felt lonely. Aika, the little girl, his daughter, had been lonely too. Ever since she was born she had no father. Now, that she met her father, she had lost his mother. Aika was only five years old and she had been this lonely...

If only he hadn't lost his power.

Dead people went to soul society. He could have just gone to Soul Society and tried to find her, it shouldn't have been that difficult if only he still had his power.

If only he could get his power back.

* * *

"What is our dinner tonight?"

"Curry. Do you like curry?"

"Will it be spicy?"

"No, it won't be too spicy."

"Ok, I like it. Will you add some red bean paste?"

"No."

"Ah, okay."

Both orange heads were walking slowly from the station to their apartment. Ichigo hold her hand and tried to walk slower following her small steps. He had been used now to walk slower when he was with Aika. He had told the little girl that if she felt tired he could just give her a piggyback but she told him that she was too heavy and he would be tired.

"Mama used to give me a piggy back but after my birthday last year she gave up," Aika tried to explain to her father, "she said I am too big now."

Ichigo chuckled, "but I am stronger than your Mama."

"I know, Mama told me that Kurosaki-kun is really strong. She said Kurosaki-kun is a fighter, is that right?"

"A fighter? Me?" Ichigo wondered what kind of story had Orihime told to their daughter, "oh, I was, but I am not really, uh, fighting anymore."

Aika sighed and smiled, "oh good! Fighting is not good. You win or you lose, fighting is not good."

Ichigo smiled, "I don't fight anymore, don't worry."

"Ah, but mama said that Kurosaki-kun only fight to defend his friends. Kurosaki-kun didn't mind being hurt in order to save a friend, is that true?" Aika tilted her head to look at his face, "Mama said Kurosaki-kun was really cool and kind."

"I am not cool," Ichigo was actually happy hearing that but he was also embarrassed, "About defending a friend... Your Mama was also a kind hearted person who would do anything to protect her friends."

"Mama was cool?"

Ichigo chuckled, "she is _very _cool."

Aika looked happy to hear that, "can you tell me more about Mama?"

"Sure, I would tell you about Orihime and her life before you were born, but then you have to tell me about her life after you born, agree?"

Aika nodded eagerly.

Ichigo smiled gently, "we would share everything about her, therefore we would not be lonely anymore."

"But I have so many stories about Mama!" Aika said excitedly, "it would take a long long long long time to finished!"

"It's okay, even if it takes a long time, I wouldn't mind listening."

"Ok, how should I start? Uh, let's see..."

It was earlier that day that he realized about it. He was not the only person who had been lonely ever since Orihime passed away. Aika was also missing her so badly, just like him. They both had been lonely without her but now, they had also had each other. Ichigo had decided that until that day when he could find a way to see Orihime once again, he would not feel lonely. He would be happy. Together with their daughter.

He would not feel lonely.


	9. Chapter 9

BAD NEWS: ======Please read this=====

It is not likely for me to write an A.N in the beginning of the chapter but this is IMPORTANT so please read this...

1. Apparently the Indonesian Government decided that FFNet is not save, or something like that because they blocked the site, we cannot access the site anymore. There are some loop hole of course, but that was not comfortable so I couldn't update just anytime I feel like it anymore. (changing the proxy didnt work, somehow I have to use my mobile but again the connection is really bad so it took time to upload a document from my mobile, it failed again and again it frustrated me!) so please be patient for the next update.

2. My job made me travelling a lot (another reason for bad connection) and also I spend my free time making cosplay costumes and whatnot. So there is little time to write, most of the time I am really tired. But I appreciate review. (I could read it from my email because the government dont block Yahoo! But I can't reply because it is difficult to log in).

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"But she had done so much to help us!"

It wasn't everyday you could see Rukia Kuchiki shouted at her brother, the head of Kuchiki family and the captain of fifth division, Byakuya Kuchiki. Renji who was sitting on the floor, next to the black haired captain made a certain face, trying to calm her down and told her to stop without actually making any noise. He knew that even though he looked so calm, Byakuya was actually displeased by his sister's behavior. The handsome man took another sip of his green tea and put the glass down gracefully before he looked at the younger shinigami and sighed elegantly.

"The rule cannot be broken."

"What rule?" Rukia started to get really annoyed, she had been trying to assure her brother so many times already but he was just being to stoneheaded to listen to her. "She had been helping us! And Ichigo! Don't pretend as if you forgot what had she done for us, Onii-sama!"

Byakuya looked into her violet eyes. "What do you want me to do?" he frowned. "She is dead, Rukia. He is alive! When people died, their soul entered the soul society and thus all of their connection to the living world shall be cut down."

"She remembered everything! It must mean something!" Rukia tried again, "at least, just let her visiting them once!"

Byakuya shook her head, "don't let your feeling blind you. She is dead. Her time in the living world has ended. That's all." After saying that, the captain stood up, leaving the black haired woman and his vice captain alone in the traditional styled room.

Renji sighed. Rukia hadn't said anything after Byakuya left the room. He could understand that Rukia wanted to help her friends. Both Ichigo and Orihime were her friends and he agreed, this was too cruel. Ichigo and Orihime deserved to be happy.

The red haired shinigami smiled sadly. He knew that Byakuya also understood this feeling. He couldn't blame Byakuya though for being so strict. He had his own reason and he understood that completely. He knew that Rukia knew this too but it wasn't easy for her to accept this.

"Rukia..." The red head started, "you see, Captain's right. That's the rule. When people..."

"Stop it Renji," Rukia growled, "I don't want to hear about the rule from you! Not now!"

The vice captain sighed, he knew how the raven girl felt but he needed to explain, "listen, even if Ichigo could see Orihime right now, what good it would be? They cannot stay together forever. She's dead, Rukia. They have their own life now. If they met, it would be harder for them to say goodbye..."

Rukia didn't say anything.

She knew that her childhood friend was right. She also understood her brother's reason to object. She just thought that it was too sad. Ichigo and Orihime deserved to be happy.

Rukia shook her head, "I just want them to be happy..."

Renji smiled sadly, "I know that feeling, that I do."

.

"And they thought you were my older brother!"

Ichigo was walking side by side with his daughter by the river bank, they were heading home. The sun was setting when the little girl talking excitedly about what had happened in her school that day. Ichigo walked slowly, following her small footstep, smiling at her excited tone.

"Oh yeah, do I look that young?"

Aika looked up and grinned at the young father, "you are young and handsome. My friends said you look like an actor!"

Ichigo laughed, "oh, sure..."

Aika smiled proudly, "I told them that my mama is really beautiful too."

Ichigo smiled sadly, of course, he would definitely agreed with that. She was the most beautiful woman in this world. He could imagine that Aika would grow up as beautiful as her mother.

"When I lived with Obaa-chan and Mama, Mama had fans," Aika giggled, "there were people wants to be my father... But when I told Mama, she said that my father is Kurosaki-kun. I don't need new father."

Ichigo felt like someone had just punch his gut. He disliked the feeling when he heard that there were men trying to get close with Orihime when he wasn't there. He hated the fact that there were other men who wanted to take his position to be with Orihime, to be Aika's father. He knew it was silly but he felt jealous all of sudden.

"Mama loved you," Aika surprised him with her innocent words, he looked down only to meet her big beautiful orbs, "mama always talked about you."

Ichigo didn't know how to react. He knew it. He knew that she loved him. He loved her just as much. He just lost his word when he looked at his daughter's innocent eyes.

Both father and daughter continued walking as the sky getting darker and darker. Ichigo helt her small hand as they walked. There were so many things dancing in his head.

.

"No, that was wrong! You shouldn't added the _soyu _yet!"

Ichigo groaned, "it's only _soyu, _the taste wouldn't be different if I added it now or later!"

"Hey! You asked me to teach you cooking, now you have to listen to all of my instruction!" Yuzu huffed and slapped his brother upper arm.

Usually Yuzu had always been the cuter one but just now Ichigo realized that she could be even scarier than Karin if she wanted to. He had never thought that Yuzu would be so strict when teaching him how to make some hayashi rice. He had started to regret asking his sister instead of trying out some recipe and instruction he found in internet.

Ichigo looked into the pot and sighed, it seemed like he had added everything. He turned to the shorter girl and raised an eyebrow, "now what?"

Yuzu peeked insided the pot to check it, "hmm, set the fire a little lower, ah yes like that, and let it be for, hmm, five hours."

The orange haired man gasped, "five hours?! You gotta be kidding me!"

His sister shrugged, "I am serious." She walked to the fridger and get a can of coke and opened it, "besides why hayashi rice? Why not curry?"

Ichigo sighed, he walked to the dining table, pulled a chair and sat down, "I promised Aika. She said she wanted to eat Hayashi Rice, so I..."

Yuzu shook her head and sat in front of her brother and smiled meaningfully, "I see, you really loved her, huh, Onii-chan?"

Ichigo's face turned red and glared at his sister when she giggled, "wh-what?! Are you stupid?! Of course, I... I mean, She is my daughter!"

Yuzu laughed. She knew her brother would never admit it openly. Actually, she knew that Ichigo had changed a lot ever since he met Aika. Sure, she knew deep inside the wound he kept hadn't been healed yet but she knew, little by little, together with the little girl, Ichigo had begun to start his life again.

"Hey, Onii-chan," Yuzu poked his arm.

"Hmm?"

"When Orihime-neechan had Aika, she was still really young, wasn't she?"

Ichigo blushed, that was not the topic she would like to talk about. Especially not with his own sister. However he managed to grunt, "hn, yeah. Why?"

Yuzu rested his chin on her hands, "nothing. I am just wondering, if one day when Aika-chan grow up and meet a guy she really loves and..."

"AAAAAAA! NO!" Ichigo used both of his hands to cover his ears, "I don't want to hear about it!"

Yuzu laughed, "oniichan, do you realize that you start to be more like our dad?"

"Don't put me on the same level with that stupid old goat!"

Yuzu just laughed louder.

.

"Rukia, what are you doing?"

The red haired shinigami tried to caught the petite shinigami's wrist but she slapped his hand away. Renji quickened his pace as the black haired girl tried to leave him. He knew that look in her eyes. That determined look in her eyes would only bring trouble for herself, he wouldn't let that happen.

"Rukia, listen to me!"

Rukia didn't stop at all, "No, you listen to me! I can't just stay there watching my friends suffering when I know I could do something for them. I wouldn't just pretend like I know nothing, Renji!"

"Listen, you can't do this, this is wrong!" Renji tried desperately to make her understand, "Rukia, I understand but you have to learn to let it go, your personal emotion would not bring any good for..."

"Shut up, Renji!" Rukia shouted, "Just, please..." she stopped suddenly and turned, she looked into his red eyes and begged, "you don't have to help me, just... Please... Understand me... It is so sad, Renji... I've seen _him_ losing the woman he loves and I couldn't do anything, this time is different. I could do something for Ichigo..."

"_Him_?"

Suddenly it all started to make sense to him.

"Kaien?"

Rukia didn't say anything.

Renji sighed. Of course, he should have known, she hadn't really moved on since that day...

"Rukia, you're overlapping Kaien and Ichigo again?"

Rukia shook her head, "please Renji..."

The red head shinigami couldn't do anything as his childhood friend ran away from him. He knew he should have stopped her but he did nothing.

"Rukia..." he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, "you don't understand..."

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Author's note:

So it is almost finished! 3-4 chapters left! YAY and sorry for late update, latest update was 2012 and now is 2014... Just wow.


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